Torn

As much as I want to blog about something positive that is going on in my life right now, I cant.
I am torn. I think I am in some kind of spiritual warfare. God is gently pulling my soul to love him, but the world is pulling my body to love it. I am torn between my "sinful nature" and my love for Christ. Its not as though I have followed any of what the world is offering me, however, lately I have been hearing it loud in my ears. The temptation is sometimes overwhelming. And the denial of it seems absurd to the world.

I am a sinner. I have sinned.
I am saved. I am redeemed.

My prayer is that through the loud noise of the world I can keep my ears tuned to Gods call on my life. That I remember that I am saved, that I can claim victory over evil through what Christ did for me.

The Passion-Amazing

This past week I have felt kind of...alone, in the area of where God is concerned. I cant seem to find the right words to describe the way that I have been feeling so I apologize for that.

On my way home from work the other day I was trying to pray and seek answers as to why I feel so distant, if you will. The only thing that I got out of it was The Passion of the Christ-watch it...watch it...rewatch it!

"Ugh...what a sad movie to watch. I don't want to watch that movie again" I fought it. I took my night time bath and found myself sitting at my DVD player, putting in that movie, thinking to myself "what am I doing? I do not want to watch this".

I put it in and as it was loading I prayed for whatever it was that He wanted me to get out of this movie, I would.

The last time I watched that movie was when I first- I mean FIRST- became a Christian.

From the first minute, I was hooked.
What an amazing God we serve. Through the horror of His death, we have life. The love He has for his children is...amazing. The other night as the movie ended, I sat in amazement, in awe, humbled.

It was just what I needed.

Unconditionally loved

Unconditional
1 : not conditional or limited

What does it mean to love "unconditionally"? To love without limit? I am a mother so I know how to love, I know what it feels like to love your child no matter what.

Why is it sometimes so hard to understand that God loves us unconditionally?

Today in service pastor mentioned that we cant earn our love from God, that no matter what we do we are incapable of earning love. We can give thousands of dollars to churches and organizations, we can teach Sunday school, feed homeless...any thing, and still not earn His love.

In a world were we have to earn everything to survive, the idea of unconditional love is kind of scary. It almost feels more comfortable to earn His love then for Him to just give it.

Why?

What I can say about all of this, is that God is so amazing! I am not always a person that deserves that kind of love, but, He gives it anyway!

This week I am going to reflect on this truth- That's I can not earn Christs love and that He loves me all the time...no matter what.

Have a blessed week!

Forever Changed

So I was thinking the other day about my blog and how its been so long since I have wrote anything. I also thought about my children and how they have also changed my life. I started thinking about all the things that we have been through and what they have taught me. I would like to share with you somethings I've learned and some of my "experiences"-if you will- from my boys...enjoy at your own risk!

-a Lincoln Log can go threw 2 toastings in the toaster before smoking on the 3rd time
-Eggos Muffin Tops will melt a microwave safe plate after 3 minutes of heating! whoda thought huh?
-silence in the middle of the day is NEVER a good thing
-silence in the bathroom is even worse
-maxi pads do pull paint off walls
-15 Band-aids, all pulled apart, wrappers and all will flush down the toilet
-a 4yr olds "biggest one you've ever seen" however wont!
-I have tried my best to explain to a curious 6 yr old were babies come from, thank goodness he only wanted to know if mommies "pooped them out"... I'm doomed to worse questions after he chews on that answer for a while
-to the same little 6 yr old I answered questions about pubic hair, why we have it, where he's going to get it, and why he doesn't have it yet...were is he getting this stuff at?
-the word "balls" is always funny, no matter how I use it or who is saying it...and that doesn't improve with age
-bath time is ALWAYS funner with clothes on
-every place and every time is the right place and time to rough house...despite my efforts to explain that church and Wal-Mart are not on the list of oks
-boys really do hate shopping, it must be in the male DNA...another thing that doesn't improve with age
-just because you have a SuperMan costume, doesn't mean that you can fly across the bedroom off the dresser and not get hurt
-that turtles blend in with the summer grass very well, and if they want something they can really move fast...specially if your not watching them!
-oh, if you can teach your turtle his name, the next search and rescue will go a lot faster because he will poke his head up...its all experience talking...
-that kids will say anything and any given time...like our trip to Wal-Mart, I accidentally ran my cart into another mans, he looked up with a smile and said "oh I'm sorry miss..", immediately my son looked at me and said, with a huge excited smile " WOW! How much money do you think he got from the tooth fairy? He lost a lot of 'em!"...ahh...I love my son...

Well, that's just a taste of what happens in my world of 3 boys. I have been to the ER countless times, kissed over a million ouches, been spit on, pooped on, threw up on, and farted on! Of all the times I want to scream, I cant help but to love my little men even more for who they are. My boys may not be always the most well behaved children out there, but they are so fun, so funny to be around....never a dull moment in my house!

Thanks for reading, hope it made you laugh, it does to me!!
God Bless